Once A Teacher was lecturing on Population Explosion - "In India every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid."
Khalli stood up and said - "we must find & stop her!".

Khalli proposed to a girl..
Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elder to you'.
Khalli replied: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you next year.

Balli and his family went for a party. He introduces himself -
I'm sardar, meet my wife sardarnee, this boy is my kid & the girl is my kidney....

Balli & his wife bought  coffee in a shop. 
Wife: Drink quickly
Balli: Why??
Wife: O' utthe likha hai, Hot coffee Rs.5 and Cold coffee Rs.10.

Balli visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. 
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies. 
Balli goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. 
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"

Khalli: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon". 
Balli: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!" 

Khalli: Why dogs don't marry? 

Balli: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Balli went to battery shop and asked to replace the battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Balli: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Balli went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next. .
Ismein aur colour dikhaiye naa. . .

Balli: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Khalli: Ultratech cement.
Balli: Kyun?
Khalli: Kyunki iss Cement mein jaan hai.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Khalli: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Khalli: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
khalli: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Balli being romantic to his wife.
“One day God tested me , erased all my memory and asked do you remember anyone now?
I told him your name and He replied, “I am sorry some viruses cannot be formatted””

Khalli is the true music lover.
A girl is singing in a bathroom while taking a bath and Khalli is near the keyhole listening to her.

Balli: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Khalli: Me too, after u leave.

Balli: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Khalli: What's he studying?"
Balli: He's not studying, they are studying him!

Balli: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Khalli: Amazing,My break up was due to  the same reason.

Balli: oye waiter ek mast chai pilao jo pura badan hila de.
Waiter: hamare yahan gaai ka doodh aata hai , Rakhi Sawant ka nahin.

Khalli: That girl is deaf
Balli: How do you know?
Khalli: I said I love her, she replied, her slippers are new. . .

Officer Khalli: Madam swimming is restricted in this lake.
Lady: why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer Khalli: That is not restricted.

Do you drink? Girl’s father asked Khalli. 
Khalli said “ first tell me whether it’s a question or invitation?”

Khalli: Go and water the plants.
Servant: it's already raining.
Khalli: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

Khalli and Balli were fixing a bomb in a car.
Balli : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Khalli : Dont worry, I have one more.

Balli : 'Look Khalli, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?'
Khalli: 'Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?'

Wife: Why are you waiting here?
Balli: Sher ka shikar karne ja raha hoon, darling!

Wife: Toh jao naa khade kyu ho. .?
Balli: Kaise jaau.. Bahar kutta jo khada hai!

Balli: I am going ka matlab batao.
Khalli: Main ja raha hoon.

Balli: Main nahi jane dunga, pehle matlab bata.

Balli mujra dekhne gaya, Saari raat mujra dekhta raha
Bai: Saheb humne aap ko khush kiya, Ab aap hamein khush karo.

Toh Balli utha aur khud nachne laga.

Balli: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams.
Son: No father I'll score 100% marks.
Balli: Why are you kidding?
Son: Who started?